I’ve been thinking. I am thinking about dropping rocks, not seeing clearly, and being led.
By rock, I mean being stuck in the past, beholden to an old story no longer serving you, an old unresolved grievance costing you joy today.
My son and I were in Barcelona, Spain, waiting in line to explore La Sagrada Familia one-of-a-kind temple.
I’d just been grumbling, a well-rehearsed old-narrative regret I’d carried for nearly three decades. I’m sure I’d bored him ten times before. Here’s how it went, “I regret never taking that study abroad summer course in Guadalajara, Mexico, before mom and I married. I wish… I can’t believe it… If only I had…”
The story I was telling him there, on the threshold of one of the world’s most holy and sacred spaces, was how different my life would have looked without this life-altering mistake that “I blew it-this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” The punchline was always about how I would have traveled internationally, learned a second language, and become a more sophisticated world citizen.
Anecdotally Holden, shared with me about their recovery community’s Drop the Rock meeting format.
Bring your rocks in with you. Drop the rocks you’re carrying. Leave empty-handed. Lighter.
Standing in line, my heavy rock became apparent to me.
What a load of crap I’d talked myself into.
Not seeing clearly
The saying goes, “We do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.” Now Fifty years old, I’d retold this regret story so many times that it’d become unnoticeable, outside my field of vision. It was the interpretive lens, the way I saw and witnessed my life.
Here I was standing in Barcelona, Spain, (international travel) with my son (deeply connected in the relationship), practicing duo-lingo Spanish (learning a foreign language), working abroad professionally, returning from a week in the foothills of the Pyrenees mountains (a more sophisticated world citizen HA!).
HERE I AM! I couldn’t see any of that. I’d convinced myself my regretful decision thirty years prior would forever suppress my future.
I dropped the rock. I let go of the regret and the life-less interpretation of my youthful choice. I’m radically allowing the voice of Love to heal me on the inside, unlocking more freedom.
Listen to the stories you’re telling yourself on repeat. Drop the rock. See clearly. Allow the eyes of your heart to be enlightened to see clearly-to see ALL of Reality. Remind your soul we’re being led. God’s with us. Thru us and in us.
You can do this.
Keep going,
Aaron
